8 Reasons *I* Love Black Men…

Earlier today, I read an inflammatory blog on another site entitled “8 Reasons to Date A White Man”, purportedly written by a Black woman who describes her husband as “dark-skinned, 100 percent cocoa”. I call this particular piece inflammatory not because of the ironic opposition of its title against her husband’s description, but because it did nothing but put Black men down, and exult white men over them using ridiculous stereotypical descriptions of each.

I swore I wouldn’t give it a bit of shine, but I have to show you how ridiculous some of those 8 reasons were:

5. They don’t glamourize ignorance. They may listen to rap music, but they are smart enough not to act it out. The “thug life” is not something to be aspired. White men have a firmer grasp on what really defines manhood.

Aww look, a lil sneak-diss at Black masculinity. And no white man ever glamourizes ignorance? *cough*Paul Wall*cough*

#7. Have the ability to look beyond your past. Ever wonder why White people can date the friends of exes and so on? It’s because they don’t let the past hinder the present. Promiscuous Black men think they deserve to settle down with virgins, and allow past relationships to haunt the present. Not White men. They have no problem turning a hoe into a housewife.

Um, that last line? Did the writer just suggest that all Black women are “hoes” with a past that needs forgiving? Pardon me?

There was other nonsense about White men being better with money management, not finding college educated women intimidating like Black men do because they have degrees themselves…::checks:: I can’t name one Black man I know without a degree…

I could sit here and tell you about the White men I’ve given a shot, only to have them kook out or whip out a racial slur with an “Oh, but you’re not *really* Black” disclaimer attached to it. I could go point for point on all 8 of the writer’s reasons and show you how rife with self-hatred and silly socio-economic prejudices they are…but I won’t. Nor will I attempt to exult Black men over white in a ridiculous tit-for-tat. Instead, I want to share MY thoughts, in support of the Black men maligned as a whole by those stereotypes not just in an article, but every day.

• 8. No one says “baby” like a Black man. It’s true for me. There is nothing like hearing the richness of his voice when he says “Baby, it’s gonna be okay,” or “C’mere, baby.” There’s just something about it. Something in his tone is a honey-laden embrace that puts me at ease in his arms.
• 7. When I look at him, I see the image of the amazing Black men who were father figures to me. It’s very true that a little girl first falls in love with her fatherly figure. In my case, that was split among my grandfather, my uncles, and my godfather.  When I look at him, I also see the man my son will one day grow up to be. In that instant, I fall in love all over again.
• 6. He relates to me and my experiences because his are similar. There is an unspoken kinship there – a host of things I don’t have to explain to say why they shaped my views or actions. Could I explain them to someone of another race? Sure. Have I? Absolutely. But it’s different when you share the same viewpoint and face similar obstacles on a personal level.
• 5. Brothas, no one rocks a suited-and-booted look like you. When you walk in a room, this woman takes notice. And let you smell good too?! Slayed. Absolutely SLAYED. Whether you’re working that DeBargian forcefield of caramel or a succulent shade of mocha, no one struts like you do. LAWD!…which brings me to my next point…
• 4. Y’all offer such a vast array of looks: from T.I. to Morris Chestnut, Michael Ealy to Idris Elba, El Debarge to Taye Diggs…it’s like being in a candy store…Yum.
• 3. I’m so proud of you for your courage and strength to face what this world slings your way. Let’s keep it real: this country has a vicious history of racism and savage behaviour within its own borders. That said, I’m not one for excuses at all. Get up, get out, and do something. Make it happen. We don’t face what our parents did in the 60′s. We do, however, still have to deal with the deeply ingrained after-effects of slavery.  In this country, Black men are vilified before being celebrated in the media.
• 2. Sex appeal. No full sentence needed. You were all waiting for me to say it anyway! Maybe it’s that whole rhythym thing…maybe it’s size…maybe it’s the fact that your penis isn’t pink…O_o I dunno. It just is. It’s not so much a gift from Baby Jesus, so much as a gift from Mary Magdalene. *winks*
• 1. My face is your face. It’s truly that simple. Mixed girl though I may be, to speak against all Black men as a whole is to speak against myself. To malign every Black man to to slit my own wrists. Nope. Not gonna do it. Not this nigress… No self hatred here.

Now, some of the reasons I outlined above aren’t unique to just Black men, and you could apply them to the race of your choice…just like the barbs in the original “8 Reasons To Date White Men” article.

As a woman who is both Black and White, who has dated both Black and White, I encourage you to find and celebrate love where it lies: in the heart – not in skintone. Love is to be cherished, no matter who you find it with – it’s meant to be colorblind. Everyone is welcome to have preferences. But when you start condemning whole races of either sex with broad strokes? You’ve missed the whole point of love in the first place. Assholes come in all colors and shades, black and white alike. Stop dating them, no matter what color they are! I can’t cosign that.

Love for love’s sake? I’m all for it. Now get off the internet and go find it! =)

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